Gippal's girl
by RultaProductions
Summary: ON HOLD! To make someone love you isn't always easy... RikkuXGippal. R&R, please! ON HOLD!
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

"_Cid's girl, we need to talk." I announced as I stepped in inside her tent. I really didn't want to do this, but it was for her own best. She looked up at me from the trunk she was leaning over._

"_Yeah, I need to talk to you to, but you first, Gip. Watcha wanna say?"_

_I loved her smiles, but now, it made me so extremely uncomfortable. She wouldn't smile so bright when I had told her of my plans. More likely, she would kick my ass all the way to hell. _

"_I... I need..." 'What the hell is wrong with me?!' I took a deep breath. 'I never run out of words!' I started over._

"_I've been selected to join the Crimson Squad, Rikku." She stared at me. Not certain of her emotions, I continued with my speech._

"_I have to report for service in Luca by tomorrow morning." She didn't even flinch. I was getting worried._

"_Uhm... What I'm trying to say here, Rikku, is that... Er... I think we should...break up." I looked at her, vigilantly _(A//N: Is that a word?)_. Suddenly, an expression of relief came over her face and I sure as hell didn't like it. 'Where's her ballistic explosion of rage?' _

"_I'm happy for you, Gip! Now I don't have to feel guilty for leaving you..." She gave me a pale smile. _

"_Leaving?" I stiffened. "What do you mean with LEAVING?"_

"_I'm going to join my cousin Yuna on her pilgrimage. I wanna help her defeat Sin."_

"_FRYD?"(WHAT?) I couldn't help the rage bubbling inside me. In two strodes I stood before her, my hands on her shoulders. 'She's doing what?'. "YOU'RE DOING WHAT?!"_

"_Don't you shout at me, you big meanie!" She tried to free herself from my hands, but I tightened my grip, forcing her to look at me._

"_You're not leaving this desert before I tell you so!" _

"_Excuse me?" She stared at me, eyes sparkling with anger. "Since when do you have the right to tell me what to do?" _

"_Since NOW!" _

_The thought of her facing Sin was sending chills down my spine. I knew she was gonna join her cousin as her guardian and that scared the shit out of me. Every thinking creature knew what happened to guardians. _

"_You are NOT going and that's THAT! Your place is HERE!" I pushed her down on the bed and walked to the trunk. Furiously, I began to throw its contents around me. When the trunk was empty, I lifted it up and threw it out of the tent. I turned around to face Rikku, who stood up from the bed. She opened her mouth to yell at me, but before she could say anything I pushed her onto the bed again._

"_Girls like you have no place in WAR! Your place is HERE, where you wait and prepare for your men to come back home! You would only be in the way and we don't need any DISTRACTIONS!" That was just a part of my speech, but you get the picture, the rest is not suitable for childrens ears... _

"_Is that really what you think of women?" Rikku's voice was cold as ice, but her face revealed her feeling of disgust. _

"_YES!" I was far too scared to let my anger go. But the anger wasn't helping. Rikku rose from the bed. Putting her hands on my chest, pushing me backwards while screaming at me, with every word another push._

"_WELL, IF THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL, YOU CAN GO TO LUCA AND STAY THERE!!" I tried to hold her back, but she's a force of nature when she's mad. And she was MAD._

"_I HATE YOU! You big MEANIE!" She gave me one last push that sent me flying out the door, wich she slammed shut behind me. I jumped on my feet, rushing to the door. _

"_RIKKU! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!!" No answer. 'If that's the way you want it.' I thought as i kicked the door one last time. 'Then fine by me!' I turned on my heels. _


	2. Pictures in my head

_A//N: so here is the first chapter! It's not so long, and I have NO IDEA of what will happen in chapter two! Actually, I have no idea about ANYTHING in this story.. It's my first one, so go easy on me, will ya? Over and out..._

¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨

"I'm not getting younger, son. I want to se my family expand before I die." I hid a yawn behind my hand and allowed my thoughts to wander off. It wasn't the first time my father complained about me not being married. I also knew that this was gonna take a while, so I made myself a little more comfortable in my chair.

"Gippal? GIPPAL!" I looked up. "Are you even listening to me?"

"'Course I'm listening to you, father..." I sighed. I REALLY didn't want to be there. My father and I never had much of a relationship. Ever since I left Home, he had blamed me for not being able to take responsibility. According to him, I should have stayed, gotten married, produced grandchildren and serve him as a fucking waiter.

I couldn't stay in Bikanel. I was sixteen! I wanted to see the world. And by joining the Crimson Squad I had gotten my ticket out of there.

Now. Three years later, I had everything. As the leader of the Machine Faction my future and fortune was secured, I had close and loyal friends and I never had to spend a night alone. The girls LOVED me! The only thing I had to sacrifice was my father's respect and... and Rikku.

"I'm telling you, son!" My father continued with a frown. "You should have married that Al Bhed girl you grew up with. Rikku was her name!"

I changed position in my chair. Rikku was history, a forgotten history. Still, I didn't felt too comfortable when my father mentioned her. It had gone a year since I saw her last. She was on a mission to defeat Vegnagun, and we had encountered several times.

When I first saw her in Djose I wasn't sure how to act. To win some time, I concentrated on her friend, Yuna. But I couldn't ignore her forever so instead of starting an embarrasing ex-girlfriend conversation I acted as if we were on good terms. She didn't seem to mind.

I heard my father mutter something to himself.

"Sorry, father. What where you saying?"

"I said it's sad that she has so many admirers. You wouldn't stand a chance against them..."

"Admirers? Come on father! She won't get married unless she loved the man!" I sighed deeply. "And Rikku doesn't love anyone for a period longer than two weeks. I know her."

"You don't know her enough, apparently." He said, sneering at me. "Word is, she's been dating someone for several months now, maybe even a year, I'm not sure."

"FRYD?" I couldn't believe this!

"Well well. As you said, she's in the past." I didn't answer, I was too... too... too much of every possible feeling. Shocked, angry, confused, jealous...

"Now, son. I DO have an invitation to you from miss Farya. She wishes you to dine with her on Saturday. A good girl, good connections. Very sweet."

"Who is he?" Finally, I could relax my tensed body enough to talk.

"Who is who, son?"

"Who's dating Rikku?" I rose from my chair, feeling the urge to throw something against the wall. Instead, I walked over to the liquor table, pouring myself a drink. Nothing was better than a nice whiskey to ease my mind. I emptied one glass. And two. And three.

"Stop wasting my liquor, boy!" Father snapped. "I do not know who her loverboy is. Nowone does. That idiot Cid refuses to tell me! Sais he wants to keep Rikku's life away from the press."

"Since when did the press care about the Al Bheds?" Since the Calm came, and since Vegnagun was defeated we Al Bhed's had gained some respect from the rest of Spira, but it wasn't usual to be noticed by the media.

"Since the girl that helped save the world became the first female heiress to the role as leader of the Al Bhed. Are you okay, boy? You look like you just swallowed a moogle."

I did feel like I just swallowed a moogle. 'Rikku? Leader of the Al Bhed?'I coughed like a maniac.

"But she's a GIRL!"

"Yes, son. I am aware of her gender. So is the rest of the male population of Spira."

"How can a girl rule over the Al Bheds? It's always been a man! She couldn't handle the press!" A person with such a power always risks their lives. Cid himself had been in real big trouble more than a few times. I had heard of the dangerous murder assaults he had escaped from. 'Some people still want us dead. What the HELL is Cid thinking? He wanna risk the life of his only daughter like that?!'

"She did save the world, boy. Twice! Hey, where do you think you're going, young man! I'm not finished with all your invitations yet!" I didn't answer, I was already halfway through the door. 'Screw the invitations!'

¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨

"Hey, Gippal! You look hot tonight." Amelia pressed her body against mine with a seducive smile.

"Yeah, you look fine to." I said and emtied my ninth can of beer. I was starting to get a little drunk and that suited me just fine. I needed to get drunk tonight. Amelia leaned forward to whisper in my ear.

"Got any plans for the night, hot shot? I'm free all night..." I grinned at her. This was GREAT!!

"Well then, babe. Why don't I follow you home? An innocent lady like you needs a man's protection." As her eyes lit my grin grew even wider.

As I told you before, I never need to spend my nights alone. Amelia was my latest playmates and she was fully aware of the fact that I don't stick to one girl for very long. The time would come when I got bored and we would go our separate ways without bitterness.

Now she took my hand and dragged me out from the bar and into the neonlights in Luca. Heading for her appartement. 'Yep.' I thought when I put my arm around her waist. 'Life is GREAT!'

Amelia was no innocent little girl. Nope. She was totally wild in bed. Just the way I want them. But this night was different, different in a bad way. Cause every time I closed my eyes, it wasn't Amelia I saw before me. It was Rikku.

'Get outta my head, Rikku.' I groaned. 'Get the hell out of my fucking head!'

¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨

"Gippal?" Nhadala stuck her head inside my office.

"What?" I snapped back at her. I had been touchy all week. I couldn't help it. Ever since my father brought up Rikku, she had haunted my dreams for a week. To avoid that from happening i buried myself in work both night and day. And I always got grumpy without sleep.

"Uhm..." Nhadala cleared he throat. "You're father called on the commsphere. He wanted to talk to you about those dinner parties you missed last weekend."

I have no idea wat got into me at that moment. I guess I just lost it.

"You can tell him that I don't give a shit about his dinner parties!" I rose from my chair and took my bag.

"Where are you going? It's not even lunch time!" Nhadala frowned.

"I'm going to visit an old friend. Cancel my meetings for this week, I'll be back on Thursday." With a nod I left her standing with her mouth wide opened and headed for my airship. 'I want you out of my head, Rikku. So if I have to go see you for that to happen, then I will fucking go to see you!'

_To be continued..._


	3. Movin' forward

Here's chapter 2 y'alls!!!

* * *

((Rikku's POV))

"Hey there, Cid's girl." I looked up from the machina I was working on. I had the sun in my eyes so I narrowed my eyes to see who was talking. 'No WAY!'

"Gippal?" I couldn't believe what I saw. 'What's he doing here?' I hadn't seen him in a year. Not since he and his friends/enemies, whatever they called themselves, held that speech in Luca. I studied him as he came closer. He had changed, I could see it in the way he walked and in his eye. He had always been an arrogant meanie, but now, he looked cold. Ruthless. And mad.

"Watcha doin', Cid's girl?" He leaned over me. I poked him in his chest.

"Hey! I have a name, y'know!" He grinned at me, but the smile didn't reach his eye. 'Goshie, how I loved you once! Too bad you weren't the one I thought you were.'

We grew up together. Spending hours digging up machina in the desert. We were best buddies, and when i was fourteen, he gave me my first kiss. I adored him, even though he knew exactly how to totally piss me off!

"What y'doin here, Gippal?" I gave him a polite smile. Thankfully, I didn't feel as awkward this time as I did when we met last year. 'Maybe I've finally moved on?' I thought with relief.

His little speech that day, when he was leaving for the Crimson Squad, made me understand that he wasn't as perfect as I imagined him to be. It was a brutal awakening. He broke my heart. But it was a lesson I had to learn. And I learned it well.

"I'm here to..." He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence.

"Hey, Rikku!" I could feel a smile sweep across my face as I saw Buddy walking towards us. He came up to us, but not close enough to see whom I was talking to.

"Cid want's a word with ya, Rikku. Better hurry." He turned on his heels and started walking back to the Home Headquarters.

"Hey wait for me!" I shouted back to him. I gave Gippal one last smile and then started running to catch up with Buddy. I took a leap and jumped onto his back. He started running, but it wasn't so easy cause I started tickling him right under his one ear and that made him laugh so hard he almost dropped me on the ground.

"Hey! You drop me and I'll kick your ass, meanie!" I yelled at him. But I yelled with a smile on my face...

And Gippal? Him I left behind me. Both literally and figuratively speaking...

* * *

((Gippal's POV))

As I watched Rikku walk away, I realized that I had never felt so left out in my entire life.

I could see she wasn't the same girl that I broke up with three years ago. She wasn't even a girl. Cid's girl had grown up. I hated that she treated me as if we didn't know each other! The way her eyes lit when Buddy came walking... Shit! I wanted her to look at ME that way! I wanted her to be with ME!

'_She would have been your's if you hadn't fucked up, ya'know...__' _I looked around my shoulder to see who was talking.

'_I'm your CONSCIENCE, you MORON! I'm in your head, not standing behind you.' _I groaned. 'I REALLY don't need feeling guilty right now!'

'_Bummer! But it's __time for you to learn a lesson.'_

'Who do ya think ya are? My dad?'

'_I don't think anything! I make YOU think. And right now, you need to think about who you really are. Cause if you're satisfied with yourself as you are today, you won't have a chance to win her back...'_

'How do YOU know I wan't her back?'

'_I'm your conscience. I know things like that...'_

'Urgh! Just SHUT UP!!!'

Was that stupid conscience of mine right? Did I have to change? I couldn't tell. All I could tell was that this trip wasn't turning out the way I expected. I came back to make it clear for her, and for me, that I had moved on. But Rikku was the one who had moved on. I hadn't.

* * *

A//N; that's it for this chapter... felt like a good place for a cliffhanger (and who doesn't love those? ;) lol) Thank you SOOO much for the reviews, please keep them coming! Well, guess I'm gonna start working on the next chapter now. Hopefully I can get it posted by tomorrow, definately this weekend!!! Piz out... 


	4. Decisions

A//N; Hey! Here come's the new chapter! It's more serious than the previous ones. Longer to. In the end of the chapter, I took the liberty to use a song called Waste, by Staind. I love the song, but I had to change it a little to fit it into the story... I have spent half the night writing this... took me awhile to get it flowin'! But here it is. read, review and enjoy! next chap up soon!

P.S I'm soo sorry 'bout Byddy's family name. Wasn't sure what it was, but I couldn't stop thinking about this one! Saying the whole name all together makes me laugh like a maniac every time! hmm... must be high on caffeine...lol. D.S

* * *

((Gippal's POV)) 

I was late Wednesday night and I had to leave tomorrow. For three days I had been lying in my bed, just thinking. I knew that my time was running short. I needed to do something, and that soon. I groaned, but somehow I managed to pull myself out of the bed. On my way to the kitchen I caught myself in a mirror. 'Shit! I look like shit... Better take a shower first...' I changed direction and walked into the bathroom.

As I let the hot water stream down my body, I thought about how to catch Rikku alone. Suddenly, a memory from long ago flashed in my head.

_We were sitting in the cooling shadows of the oasis in the Bikanel desert. We must have been about __nine or eight years old. I had followed her there. I'd noticed her sneaking out of her house and since it was really late, I wondered why. But when I catched up with her she looked so sad that I let my questions go. If she wanted to tell me, she would. I guess that she somehow guessed my unspoken question anyway._

"_I... I like to just sit here sometimes. I can just sit here and imagine how I want the world around me to be." I didn't say anything. Didn't want to interrupt her in her thoughts._

"_I know he means well, but Pops puts so much pressure on me. Wanting me to be like mum was. But... I don't remember how she was, or what she was good at. To me... she's just dead." She paused, taking long deep breaths. _

"_I wan't him to see what I'M good at. What I can do. Like you, Gippie, you can talk ANYONE into doing ANYTHING. And your father uses that skill of yours and tries to help you develope it. I'm GREAT with machina, but I have to sneak out with you to go digging, cause Pops don't want me to learn anything about it..." _

_It felt like we sat there for an eternity. I don't know what time it was when we got back. But when we finally returned, both of us got one hell of a house arrest._

The memory got me thinking. Maybe I should use that special gift of mine. Maybe I could weaken her resistence and make her understand that she belongs with me...

* * *

((Rikku's POV)) 

"I thought I would find you here, Cid's girl..."

I turned around to see Gippal leaning against a palm, watching me closely. I really didn't feel like talking at the moment, so I just turned around. Why did life have to be so complicated? I heard him step closer, kneeling beside me.

"Remember how we used to sit here all night long?" I smiled a little at the memory.

"Yeah. You always got me in trouble when we got home, meanie..." My smile faded away when I realized how intensely he studied me.

"Well, that doesn't even come close to the troubles you got ME into!" He leaned closer to me. " I think I should have some appriciation for always talking your dad into giving you a less harsh punishment then you deserved..."

His lips were just centimetres from my chin and I didn't dare to look at him. I was too confused. Why was he here? How did he know I was here?

"Don't push it, I already baked you cookies once!" I didn't have to mention that they tasted like mud. It was the thought that meant something.

He put a finger under my chin, forcing me to face him. "That doesn't cut it for me..." he whispered and pressed his lips tightly against mine. At first I couldn't think. Then I realized how much I WANTED to kiss him. 'Buddy. I have to think about Buddy.'

"No..." I could barely hear my own voice. Either Gippal didn't hear me, or he didn't care. "NO!" I pushed him away from me and quickly got to my feet. "I can't do this, Gippal." I said as I started to run away. I didn't get very far before I felt a hand clench around my wrist, turning me around. He used all of his bodyweight to hold me still as he pressed my back up against a tree. His face came close. Hard, warm lips caressing mine.

"We were so good together, princess." He whispered as he spread kisses across my face and neck. "Remember those times?" He returned to my mouth. He still had me pinned using his body. I was defenceless. "Why don't we go back to those times? It would be like in the old days..." Why did he have to go and make my mind all fluffy? It took all my strength to finally push him away a little.

"Memories are nice, Gippal, but..."

"But that's all they are." He sighed deeply. "There is no way I can make you change your mind about this, is there, Cid's girl?" He had no IDEA how close he'd just been to succeed! Oh poopie! I had to get out of there before I did something I would regret later.

((Gippal's POV))

I watched her run away from me. Her braids shined like silver in the moonlight. Shit! She was the only girl that had ever turned me down. She was the only one I wanted. I had her. Lost her. And now I couldn't get her back! I had tried convincing her by doing what I do best. But that wasn't enough for her. I wasn't enough for her. Maybe it was time to realize that. But I wasn't ready.

* * *

I'd been back in Djose for a month. All workers avoided me, and I kept by myself. Burying myself with paperwork. I was aware of my edgy temper. Nhadala had sneaked in with the mail while I ate some lunch, but I hadn't cared to look at it yet. It was all the same. Bills needed to be payed. Workers wanted a raise. All the things I hated to do, but had to be done anyway. 

But what was that? Something small and white peaked out under the stack. I pulled it out. Somehow, I already knew what it was. And I was afraid of reading it. Knowing that it would all be lost. I'd be lost. Still, I couldn't stop myself. I wrapped it open.

_**A Royal Wedding!**_

_We here__by invite you to witness the joyfilled union between Buddy Balboa And Lady Rikku, Princess of the Al Bheds._

_The event will take place in New Home, July 16__th. __More information will be recieved when reporting interest of presence._

* * *

I waited in a corner o the back of the church. I didn't know what I was doing there. I wasn't even planning on attending the wedding, but there I was. I felt like an asshole for being there. Knowing that Rikku didn't really want me to come. But I had to see her. Just one last time, before I let her go and kept on living my fucking lonely life. 

So did the music start playing and everyone turned to the opening doors, hoping to catch a glimpse of the bride. And there she was. I could see her eyes shining bright under her veil. Shining towards someone else than me. I glanced over to Buddy. He looked like a cat that'd just licked up a bowl of cream. I could barely control my jealousy. That irrational feeling of rage came over me and I had to clench my fists as hard as I could. Otherwise I would have stood up, screaming that he had no right to take Rikku as his wife. That she belonged to ME. That she had always been mine.

But I didn't. There was no use embarassing myself in front of a packed church. Claiming a girl that didn't even want me in the first place.

As soon as I could, I left the party. Not taking the time congratulating the groom for catching the girl that stood between us.

* * *

I looked at the machina I'd spent hours to rebuild. It had only gone a day. She had been married for a day. It felt like a lifetime. I should have kbown she wouldn't fall for my tries of seduction. Sha was stronger than that. She was stronger than ME, damn it! I gripped the hammer lying beside me. Words of rage rushed through my head as I pounded the machina into trash. 'Well FUCK that! And fuck her! And fuck him!' I stopped pounding. There was nothing left to pound on... I dropped to my knees. 'And fuck me. For not having the strenght to pull through.' I stared into the wall for I don't know how long. I'd failed. I'd fucked up. I had one chance, and I wasted it. It wasn't 'til later I felt the wet streams down my face.

* * *

A//N; yep yep! that's it for this time... wonder what will happen next... 


	5. 5 years of breaking

A//N; here's the new chapter. Sorry for keeping you waiting, but my computer broke down... and I'm already in over my head with school work... SO tired of school right now...

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the places or characters that have figured in the game FF-2. I do own everything else...

* * *

Five years passed by. I didn't really care about that, it was all the same. I was still a broken man. I buried myself in my work. I did everything I could to forget, not that it worked that well. Mondays to Fridays were okey, I worked until I was so exhausted that I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Weekends weren't that easy. I couldn't go to work so I had to go elsewere to distract my thoughts. Mostly, I hung out in some bar, drinkin' til I passed out and they had to send for people to take me home.

Yep. My life was a living hell. I was starting to question my sanity. Tearing myself to pieces for a girl that didn't even want me just couldn't be normal.

They came to Djose once in a while, both of them, but they never stayed for long and the visits weren't many, maybe two, three times a year. Guess I didn't show much hostality. 'Hell, I never asked them to come! I don't want to see her fucking face smile towards him, it makes me sick!'

But talking myself into thinking like that didn't stop my heart from pounding faster everytime they DID stop by.

Thankfully, Nhadala interrupted my thoughts by calling on the intern CommSphere.

"Got a call for you, boss." She said, as abrupt as always. I smirked.

"Let it through."

A "buzz" was heard while the CommSphere connected.

"Hello?" said a coughing voice. I cleared my throat.

"Gippal here. What can I do for ya?"

"Gippal? This is Buddy!"

"Buddy?" 'What's he calling about?'

"Gippal!" He startled me by yelling. "I REALLY need permission to land the Celsius at Djose! Got some –cough- some serious engine problem!"

"Go ahead. I'll clear the area." I closed the connection and dialed up Nhadala.

**

* * *

**

'Holy shit! That's one beat up engine.' I thought as I walked towards the ship. The front was totally beat up and heavy smoke rose from the engine. I saw Buddy jump off the ship, coughing.

"Buddy! What the hell happened to the ship?" I patted his back a little, but stopped when the awkward feeling came back. Too much stood between us. I wasn't ready to be that friendly with him yet.

"A damn chocobo came flying towards me over the moonflow!"

"A chocobo?" 'Was he crazy? Chocobos don't fly!' "A flying chocobo?"

"Hey, man! I'm as surprised as you are!" He sounded a little shocked.

"Rikku with you?" I asked silently. Trying not to sound like I actually cared, I failed miserably. Buddy glanced at my profile as we started walking towards the temple.

"No, I just left her on Besaid. Yuna wanted her support."

"Support?"

"Apparentley, Tidus is getting a little too overprotective. They have different opinions however Yuna should spend her last month of pregnancy in bed or up and working. Rikku's there to give him a handful..." He sighed.

I had met Tidus a couple of times. He seemed okay, maybe a bit narrow-minded sometimes. But you had to be blind not to see how much he loved his wife.

"You don't sound too happy?"

"Well, I'm not." 'This is getting interesting.'

"Why's that?"

"It's probably nothing..." He started. Glancing over to me again, I noticed a mischievous glint in his eyes. "She's just been restless lately. Being pregnant's giving her more moodswings than usual."

* * *

I sat in my room, staring into nothing and with a bottle of whiskey in my hand. Rikku was pregnant? Why hadn't she told me? 'She think I don't wanna know?' I threw the bottle against the wall. It smashed into a thousand pieces, like me...

The fact that Rikku was pregnant wasn't what bugged me the most. She'd be a great mom. But that Buddy was the father, and the actions that is required to concieve a kid. I sure as hell didn't like the pictures flashing before my eyes! Her and Buddy... Buddy giving her what she had always wanted...

**

* * *

**

_It was Rikku's fifteenth birthday. Her dad held a big party for her that day, it was a blast. When all the guest had gone, I stayed and helped her clean up. As soon as we were done we snuck up to her room. The fact that Cid didn't see us was kinda surprising. To me, her room was off limits._

_Rikku closed and locked the door carefully. As soon as she'd done that, I was all over her. I kissed her fiercely, letting my hands linger at her hips before embracing her tightly. I don't know how we got to her bed, but soon she was on her back with me on top. I'd always loved kissing her. It felt so good. But that night, it wasn't enough. I wanted more._

_Slowly, I unzipped her tanktop, caressing the smooth skin of her's. I felt her hands in my hair, pulling me closer to her lips. Her intoxicating lips. I struggled for a moment to get out of my shirt. My hands started working to get her shorts off._

_I didn't get so far before she pushed me off of her._

_"No!" she cried. "I don't want to do that."_

_Confused, I stood up, frowning._

_"Why not?"_

_"I... I just don't." she shrugged, avoiding my gaze._

_"Tell me!" I was getting more than a bit frustrated._

_"It's kinda hard to explain, Gippal..." Her face was crimson red as she zipped her tank top back on and if I hadn't been so mad, I'd been laughing my eyes out. Seeing Rikku blush wasn't something that happened every day.'_

_"Try me!"_

_"I... I don't wanna be the girl that goes to bed with anyone, anytime."_

_"You won't go to bed with anyone. You'll only go to bed with ME!!" I started pacing around her tiny room, trying to get rid of some steem._

_"That's what I mean!" Her sharp voice startled me. "You're the "Gippanister". Half of the females on Spira wants to have sex with you."_

_"Get to the point, Rik!" I didn't like were this was going._

_"Sex is nothin' special to you, just a nice way to kill some time."_

_She waited for me to reply, but I just stared at her, not knowing what to say. She sighed and continued._

_"It's special to ME, Gippal. I don't want to join your harem. I promised myself that I will wait til I'm married."_

_"Why wait til you're married? That can take years!"_

_"Cause you marry for a reason. And you should have sex for the same reason. I wanna feel loved, Gippal. Not used."_

_We looked at each other from the opposite corners of the room. Her eyes glowed with that typical determination of her's. I sighed heavily and ran a hand through my hair._

_"I understand." But I really didn't. I wasn't sure I wanted to either, so I just took on my shirt and walked out of her room._

**ooOoo**

I must've passed out. I woke with the sun in my eyes and a headache from hell. I wanted to close my eyes again and sleep for an eternity. But it was Thursday and there's no rest for the living. I had to get to work.

As I walked the hall down to my office, I passed by the room I lent to Buddy yesterday. He'd been in som really bad shape and I told him to start working on the ship after a good nights rest. A good nights rest for him, that is. Mine was a fucking disaster, considering my monstrous hangover.

I knocked on his door, but nowone answered. 'Guess he got up early.' Well. If the man needed my help, he knew where to find me. I didn't feel like talking to him unless it was necessary.

After hours of paperwork my concentration started to fail me. My thought wandered to Rikku. 'Wonder what month she's in... No, Gippal! Bad thoughts, don't go there! You'll only make it worse thinking like that!'

I had just gone back to my pile of papers when I heard screaming voices outside. I quickly got to my feet and rushed for the entrance of the temple. The voices came closer.

"RUN! She's gonna BLOW!!"

"Get outta there!"

"Back off!!"

I started running. Getting to the entrance just in time to see Buddy's airship expload into pieces.

* * *


	6. AN HELP!

**WARNING! No new chapter, but very important A//N ...**

**Hi, everyone! I know I haven't updated this story for several weeks, but I'm suffring one SERIOUS writer's block!!! **

**I still want to continue the story. But to get it going is kinda hard. I'm sure I can snap out of this WB if I just get some inspiration. PLEASE help me out here... The more inspiration you readers give me, the sooner I can update a chapter. **

**Give me tips and stuff. Think about what you would like to happen and then email me, or send me a PM... I really need your help, guys!**

**XXX / _Rulta Productions_**


	7. Breaking the habit

A//N; My, oh my! What do we have here? A new chapter, indeed. Uploaded for the first time since..how long? Well, it's here now.

I want to thank some1atemycoOkie for letting me know about my tempus-screw up. I have changed it, but there may be some errors left (this is when I can really use a BETA-reader). I guess I kinda mixed it up, cause I'm writing another thing in present tense and Third person. Anyways, thank you! I give you a cookie on a silver plate... ;)

WARNING: This chapter is a little bloody, so if you have any problem with that, leave. It's not much blood, but consider yourselves warned!

Read and enjoy. More comments at the end...

* * *

"BUDDY!" 

My heart almost stopped when I saw the Celsius blow to pieces. I ran toward the wreckage. Buddy was there somewhere, hurt but alive. He had to be alive! I sped up, ignoring those who called after me.

"Gippal! Get back! It's not safe!"

'_He married my girl, so what? He's still my best friend! I'm not leaving him...' _

As I reached the remnants of the airship, I began to turn every piece of metal upside down, searching frantically. "Buddy! Come on, Buddy, show me you're here!" I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw something that moved over by the left wing section. I dropped all I had in my hands and hurried over there, I overturned the heaviest metal scraps until Buddy's bloodied mess of a body appeared.

"Buddy?" I searched for his pulse and found it, slow and weak, but still pulsating.

"Med's! I need Med's and potions!" My harsh orders made my crew start moving. Some of them ran over to the medical tent I set up for emergencies and others came up to me and Buddy to offer their help. Once I'd made sure no one stood useless, I turned my full attention toward my beat up best friend.

"Buddy! Listen to me, Bud. You're gonna get through this, I won't let you die." He gave no response and I leaned closer. "C'mon! Think about Rikku! What about her and the baby? You can't leave them..."

Buddy's eyes opened and he looked straight at me with a glare that screamed 'Spira, you're one stupid asshole!' He coughed up some blood before he hissed:

"C'mon, Gippal!"

"What?"

"I won't live through this one..."

The bittersweet tone of his voice scared me. Buddy was the most laid back person I'd ever met. He never gave up hope and always found a way around the obstacles. But there he lied on the ground in front of me, accepting death instead of fighting it back.

"Don't say shit like that! What about Rikku? She loves you, remember?"

"I wish..." he whispered. He wasn't able to talk louder than that. Where the hell were those Med's?! "Rikku never loved me the way she loves you..."

My brain couldn't help but to register his use of tempus, but I pushed those thoughts away when I realized that Buddy started to drift away.

"Buddy! Don't die on me! C'mon, you're my best friend... You have Rikku. It was YOU she chose to marry...!"

"Damn, you're stupid! Just talk to her... Don't...do that shit...you always do... Just...talk..."

"Buddy?"

"I'm sorry...Gippal... I...lied... She's...not-..."

"She's not WHAT? Don't stop talkin'. Keep on talkin'!"

But it was too late. In the blink of an eye, he descended into hundreds of pyreflies. They whirled around me before scattering in the air above my head.

I flipped. I just flipped. My best friend was dead and I blamed it on him, cause he hadn't fought to live. I blamed it on the Med's, cause they hadn't been fast enough. I blamed it on my crew, cause they hadn't warned him in time. I blamed it on Rikku, cause she had made Buddy go all the way to Besaid and back. I screamed and yelled all over the place because I didn't want to see the truth. That it was MY fault. Mine and no one else's. I knew that if I hadn't fucked up, but played my cards right, Rikku would have been with me. She would've married ME. And Buddy would never have taken her to Besaid with the Celsius and the fucking junk-excuse of an airship would never have broken down and Buddy would never have died because of it. Because of ME.

I was lost. Totally lost. I didn't know what to do. And how was I supposed to tell Rikku that her husband just died? She already hated me, but now she would never forgive me.

I headed to my office. No one got in my way. I started to type in the CommSphere number to Besaid, but cut the line before the signal went through. To break news like that over the CommSphere would be disrespectful. Weak. Cowardly.

If it had been anyone else than Rikku, I probably would have been that coward. It was the easy way out.

For the first time in years, I had to stop being an ass and start being a friend. I had to show her I care. She needed me to be her best friend again, not the arrogant, selfish jerk that had controlled me every day since we broke up.

* * *

"Rikku!" 

Reluctantly dropping my tools on the floor, I looked up to see whoever it was that called for me. I had been concentrating on the baby crib I was building for so many hours that I had almost forgot where I was. Of course, the voice of Tidus took me back to reality in no time.

I was supposed to keep him company when Yunie needed some alone time, but honestly, he drove me up the walls with his chattering about the baby. Sure, it was all right at day-time. Being called at 3 am, was NOT okay!

"What now, Tidus?" I sighed.

"Someone's here to see ya…"

"_Thank, Spira! Buddy's back!" _I frowned a little._" ...already?"_ I got up and brushed the sand off of me. I felt most comfortable when I worked by the beach, it made me feel like I was still at Home.

"Where?"

"He's waiting at our place. Yuna's there."

"Let's go!"

When I entered the small living room, I had already started to form Buddy's name on my lips, but the word muted quickly to be replaced by another name. One I hadn't used for quite some time.

"Gippal?"

I froze in shock. Something about his posture and the look on his face made me alarmed. He looked… I don't know… kinda off, I guess. I couldn't even fathom the reason to why he would come to Besaid. To see ME. After all, he'd avoided my gut ever since I married Buddy, and before that event, too. How did he even know where I was?

He made a movement, as if he wanted to take my hand, but stopped himself at the last second. Instead, he showed me something I thought he'd lost so many years ago. Compassion.

"I'm so sorry, Rikku."

I was confused, who wouldn't be when greeted like that? The tone of his voice sent warning chills down my spine that told me that something was really, really wrong…

* * *

**A//N; Yeah. Short, I know. But I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer for this. If you read my profile, which I update often, you would've read that I was free from school last wednesday. That didn't happen. I'll be free Thursday this week. I will hopefully get the time to update again, or at least get started at a new chapter.**

**I want to thank EVERYONE who wrote to me and gave me inspiration enough to get rid of the WB I've had for some weeks now. Even though it might not show in the chapter, I took all your ideas and thoughts under consideration. Cookies for you all! Keep your ideas coming, they're highly appreciated.**

**REVIEW!! **

**Until next time...**


End file.
